Yesterday was four months since my RNY surgery, and I'm at 290 lbs., which means I've lost a grand total of 70 lbs now (including the 10 I lost just before surgery). I'm coming up on my second milestone, which is 260 lbs. That weight is significant for a couple of reasons: 1) it's 100 lbs down from my highest weight, and 2) it's the weight where I "hung out at" for many years after in between having my two babies. It's also where I was at before I lost a big chunk of weight after my mission. In short, it's a very familiar place (although one I haven't seen in a long time!)
In my mind, I have been envisioning the "places" (weight-wise) that serve as mile-markers for me along this journey. Some of these markers are places that I identify with, others are just goals. The first mile-marker was around 320ish, which was where I was at for several years when Josh was young, before moving to Arizona. I've passed that!
Next up is the 260 mark, which is quickly approaching. I wouldn't be surprised to see a stall at that point because that's a place my body is very familiar with. I suppose my mind is a little comfortable there, too. It's a rather pivotal point. I think that's the point where I'm going to have to probably kick it up another level, i.e. exercise, etc.
My next marker is about 200, which is what I weighed when I got married. Actually, I can't truly say that I identify with this place because I wasn't really there for very long. I had just lost a whole bunch of weight (from 260 to 180) and then I was married and pregnant with Jana right away (and subsequently right back up to 260 after she was born). Still, it's the only time I felt good about my weight; not that it's a healthy weight, but it was so much less than what I had been that it felt pretty darn good.
My last marker is 140. Why 140? Well, it's the point where my BMI officially breaks into the "normal" range! I really don't know what to expect once I get into that territory. The last time I was 140 was when I was a freshman in high school! I can't even think that far ahead to consider whether or not that will be where I'm comfortable. To be honest, I can't really, truly see myself there. In my mind, I am an overweight person--morbidly obese, obese, overweight; it's all just a matter of degrees. I can't imagine being normal. Normal is what other people are. I think that I may always be overweight in my head, even if my body were 100 lbs. Maybe that will change with time and experience.
I don't have any four-month pictures to put up. My camera died in Africa, unfortunately. I'll have to borrow Jana's camera and get some pictures up. It's finally starting to show (after 70 lbs!). The only lament I have is that I look fairly "deflated" in some areas, especially my arms and even my neck. It's like a balloon that had been blown up for awhile and then all the air was let out. Oh well. I've heard that it gets better with time. The skin needs a chance to rebound a little. For that reason, I guess I should be glad that I haven't been losing super fast--then my skin issues would be even worse! Maybe I should start a savings account for plastic surgery. :-)
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I wouldn't worry about the deflation. I've seen it get better over time with some others who have done the surgery. Plus, toning it will just give you something else to look forward to and keep you on track. For me at least, once I've reached my goal it can be difficult to keep working at it. Does that even make sense? And by the way...congratulations for realizing your dreams. You're doing it!!!
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